Let's stare at the mess i've made.....

I haven't updated my blog since I last year i think. i have something to write but I just couldnt find the time to post anything. In a nutshell, I'm a mess. I hate what I do every morning. I'm sick of it... I realized that I'm not sure why the heck am i still studying this course that i just blindly took and for whose sake is it.? thank you coffee for making my morning less miserable than it usually is. please let me end this misery.... please god.. 2 more months and I'm free.. all the lies that i have to make, to bear with and to hold it in for as long as i can, it keeps pulling me down. i have nightmares of them now. a good night sleep is all i want.. that's the least that i need.