One day before the start of Ramadhan.

Hello, minions! I'm just joking~~ lol. Hey guys. I do hope all of you are in the most wonderful position today and until your last breath. As for me, I am doing pretty well although, I do cry a little less than usual. But at least I'm going out and not slitting my wrist in my room. *I swear to god, I did not slit my wrist*

Today is the day, the most important day of all. I think. Tonight, all Muslims are going to the mosque to pray. What a special night but sadly, for me, I'm stuck here in my room. But it's okay. This Ramadhan, I have listed a few activities I would like to achieve. Please god, bless me in this month.

1. Bake and give to the mosque nearest my house
2. Stay on a diet and eat less, Aimi.
3. Pray, pray, pray. =) Keep on praying.
4. Study and less Korean drama. *but I cant help it!!!
5. Get over it~~~

I think that's it. If I put too much I know I'm gonna make excuses. Wish me luck. Oh yeah, there's a couple of photos I wanna share with you guys today *as if someone is gonna read my blog. lol* it was a hot day, really hot day. I went downstairs, rummaged the fridge and I found THIS!!! JAAAANNGG! *you'll see it soon*

This drink saved my life!! Alhamdulillah.... At the same time, I was messing with my photoshop. So I edited a few pictures, taken with my Canon 450D and if I'm not mistaken the setting was PV. I was too excited to wolf down this piece of heaven to remember. Sorry... oh well......

I'll post new updates soon if there's any interesting topic. wee!
Love, Aimi.

Rape me.

The feelings are still there. I know its there, living inside of me. It has a life of its own because i do not have the strength to kill it with my own bare hands. All the tears and pain and misery seem to be growing each day. So I have to grow stronger but it's hard. So far, I am doing just fine. Although, I admit if i told anyone that I'm over him, I'd be a liar. A big fat liar.

It's seems so odd because he was just here for a little while but his impact on me was as big as a tsunami. I feel such a foll. I do, I really do. At night, when I close my eyes, his image will appear. This might sound delusional but it's true. I used to like to sleep but now, I'm too scared to even dream. Speaking of dreaming, I had a dream about him, always. Then every time I wake up, there's that urge to cry again and again and again. I sound so hopeless but it's just hard. Honestly, he was a good man. The thing that broke me down the most was, I did not expected him to be that was. Yes, disappointment is and will always be the contributing factor in heartache. He appeared like magic then disappeared in a blink of an eye.


I'm fine. I know I am. Rape me out of this misery.

Sincerely, Aimi.

Puffy eyes....................

This post was meant to be for last week but I was too occupied with crying to finish it. So now I decided to just post it as it is because it has no exact ending. 

1. Yuna -Penakut
2. Secondhand Serenade -Pretend
3. 2AM -You wouldn't answer my calls
4. Secondhand Serenade - Like a knife
5. The Pretty Reckless -Just tonight
6. Boyce Avenue -With arms wide open
7. Yuna -Blue sands
8. Taylor Swift -Crazier
9. Taylor Swift ft Colbie Caillat -Breathe
10. Colbie Caillat -I never told you
11. G.NA -I'll back off so you can live better
12. 2NE1 -Go away
13. The Pretty Reckless -Zombie

I feel so hollow. I woke up with a sense of nothingness inside of me. I feel as if someone took all of my dreams away from me. I get it when Bella Swan was screaming and crying for days no, months, on her bed, yearning for Edward Cullen.There's a hole inside of my chest. I can just feel it.

Lost for words......

Hit the brakes, pull it now,
Before it's too late, I'll regret it somehow.
Love has a funny way of appearing and disappearing,
From left or right, still, it has to end tonight.

Oh lovely lovely lovely man,
I hoped and jumped on the boat too quickly,
I thought we were rocking the same tune,
Hitting the same notes,
oh lovely lovely lovely man,
I cried at the very end.

Should have hit the brakes when it was yellow
Never should have listened to the words "Gara gara go."
The song in the car was the fuel to my heart,
Now its just...........

I couldn't find the words to continue. Only my tears kept running down my cheek....

Goodnight. Aimi..

Sekolah rendah dulu AKA when we were in elementary school

Tonight trends in twitter is #sekolahrendahdulu.... I dont really remember much about my elementary school memories... All I can remember is a guy who used to like me and now he is a transsexual..!! XD  but for this post, I shall spill what I can remember when I was in Highschoool. Hope you guys read it with an open mind. :D

* I used to bully this girl with my 3 friends and because of that, I think we sort of scarred her life. ><
* I hate maths. So when the teacher told us those who did not bring the text book has to stand at the back. So i willingly walked at the back. Glad I wasn't alone!
* I love sports.! I am one of the athletes. Now I'm....well...unhealthy....
* I met Sasya, Zsa-Zsa and Azi.. we were in the same class when we were 14.!! It was the best year.!
* Whenever it rained cats and dogs, we would run and play and jump.! Oh how I miss those moments.!
* My accounting teacher is scary.!! Luckily I was good in that subject :D 
* I got flashed by a 40 plus plus year old man.!!! I was walking around and that dude flashed me! It was...................small.
* Anime freak, until today.!


Aaaahhh... I know there's a lot of good memories back then but I just can't remember them. Probably I'm just too tired... Gotta hit the bed now... :)

I hit a car today yo.!!

These past few days, every time i drive around, i sometimes see a few cars stopped at the side after an accident. at that moment, i will always have an idea or a hunch, wait no, a paranoid thought? oh whatever it is i will always imagine how i would be like if i were in their shoe. guess what? Tonight, I had the chance to be in theirs.! Nice job! You got what you never wished for, Aimi.!! ><

So i hit a car today but it wasn't a major accident. I was fine and so was the driver. Thankfully the driver was nice. But i never expected i would be so apologetic! I used to have a bad habit to never say sorry. But when i had an intervention about how awful i am to never ever say sorry or forgive anyone, from my friends which i am very lucky to have, i have now became a very apologetic person. OMG.~ >< It was a good experience but never ever will i go space out again when I'm driving.!!

Not only that, when Nana and I were at the red light, a car next to us took pictures of us.!! We don't even know them.!! I was shocked but I couldn't stopped laughing. Man...how people in Kuching city are so..odd.. >< oh well.. I still love this place.!!

Lyrics? Poem.? Whatever it is, this is how I feel.

I used to write poem back in high school. I used to write a lot too but I stopped. This is my latest creation.


I'm breathing, I'm alive,
I'm still picking up piecies of me
I never hope for anything, or so I thought,
But I did wished for love. Your love.


I mutter your name
until I fall asleep,
I prayed to god,
as a sign of plead.


I know the ending, I do
But I keep on hoping, wishing it wont be true. Please Lie.


I scream your name, whenever I'm driving alone
At night on a straight road,
it seemed endless,
just like this feelings I have.

I cry whenever I cant hold it anymore
Screaming with a pillow covering my face,
The tears rolling down my cheek,
Its warm and salty but it feels like its burning my face.


Please lie, tell me a good lie.
Even if you say goodbye.

Midnight Loneliness....

Dear, my un-updated blog,

Whoa..my last post was on February.! That is quite a long time. Ok, here we go. I was supposed to sleep 2 hours ago but I couldn't. My eyes won't let me. Then, I kept staring at the ceiling, reminiscing back the good old days. I started muttering 

"I dont want to wake up with the feeling of nothingness dragging me down."

"I miss you...."

"I wanna go back to class...back to waking up at 7 in the morning, taking a cold freezing shower in a box shaped room, going to class observing my crazy friends. "

'I hate waking up with nothing to aim.... I hate what I do everyday.."

"I need money.."

So basically I was complaining about how my life is right now. Unrequited love, unemployed and dead beat broke. But my main aim for this post is to show how much I miss my campus life. My university has the worst facilities I have ever known. But it was worth going there for 3 years. 

I miss my friends, my classmate, my room mate. I remember how we used to fight in class, or how we scored badly for our quizzes. The best moment was when our English lecturer suddenly scolded us "Uncivilized monkey..!!!!" It was hilarious. But yeah it was our fault too. Wait, I blame Adlin for that. :) 

Its safe to say, we miss each other now. You guys remember the trip? Our Cambodia trip.? Heck yeah you do.!! Why the hell would you forget those awesome moments!! It was the first time I was chased by an elephant. You guys at the back kept playing kpop songs like B2ST, 2PM and stuff. OMG.!! No BigBang?? oh well... there was nothing to lose at that moment. I miss those hilarious moment. even though the  hot sun was piercing through our skin, I know we had a good time.

I wonder how the rest of us are doing. Some are working now, I heard and some will be furthering their studies. I do wish all of the, the best in their lives. And for those who are in a relationship, dont forget to hire me as you photographer okay?! And one day if i become famous or if you become famous, you should really treat us a wonderful dinner. 

Lots of love (although i rarely show it to you guys) Aimi. =)